apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
