my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
