It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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