we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
