is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
