I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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