I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
