He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
