He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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