just tell him i said nine months
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
