i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
