Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
