So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
