your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We had to coat check the pizza.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
