I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
