Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
