you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
