Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
