did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
