So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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