she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
