porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Houston, we have a blender
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
