so explain again why im purple
no
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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