Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
