I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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