i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Church boner. Awkwardddd
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Randomize
