They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
