if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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