then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
