Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You ruined the universe
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
