Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
