What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
