I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
