He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
