why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
