yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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