i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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