So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
