If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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