it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
