yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Tell her she can't have a vagina
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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