As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
