But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Still dying that you shit outside
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
