so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
