Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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