id be glad to
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
