I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
