Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
