omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
barbara walters just said penis...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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