you turned your livingroom into a bong?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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