God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm too high and old for this...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
