i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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